Why review your goals?
In this post, I’m reviewing the goals I made in July and setting some goals for August. Why? In Leonie Dawson’s My Shining Year workbook, she uses a quote that says:
80% of people don’t think of goals
16% of people don’t write their goals down
4% of people write their goals down
1% of people write down their goals AND review them regularly. These are among the high achievers.
For this reason, it has always been important for me to set goals down in writing, and to check in on them. That way, you can make sure that you’re focusing on the right things, and get back on track when things don’t go the way you expected.
Reviewing July’s goals
In July I set myself a number of goals around homeschooling, health, spirituality, business, money and fun. I did achieve some of the things:
- my son did attend the summer camps. We did work on knitting, reading and some experiments around centrifugal force and robotics.
- in relation to health, I started working with a nutritionist and am setting weeks goals to change habits and increase my activity levels. I did however, have to have another set of steroids for my asthma and use a steroid inhaler long term now.
- during July, I attended the bio energy workshop and have signed up to do the diploma from September.
- With my business, I become much clearer on what my business looks like and who my client base will be. I realised that with all the loss I have experienced in my life, I am well placed to help mum’s dealing with grief to get back to themselves. I’ve packed up much of dads things, but there is still some more stuff to deal with. Mainly paperwork around his estate, but it’s more time consuming than I expected. I’ve developed 3 email opt-ins: one for blog updates, one for a discount voucher for the shop and a daily dose of positivity. I’ve scheduled over 260+ emails but there is still more to do before I publish it. I’ve republished my Facebook page and started using Twitter again.
- I didn’t achieve the money goal I set for my business, but I did achieve the goal in different ways, selling clutter on ebay and Facebook.
- Fun kind of fell by the wayside.
Why July’s goals got derailed
In many ways July was a good month, however, one of the reasons many of my goals got derailed was that my husband had a heart attack in the middle of the month. He was obviously hospitalised, but the hospital was 2 hours away from us, so visiting took up much of the days.
He was very lucky. Long story short, he had two stents inserted, was discharged home after a couple of days, is on loads of medication, can’t drive or work for a few weeks and starts cardiac rehab next month. Having been through something similar, but much worse with my father, (who went into total systems failure and needed to stay in hospital for weeks) I was so grateful that there was minimal damage to his heart, and the long-term prognosis is very good.
But it threw me.
For a while, I wouldn’t let hubby be left alone, in case anything happened. It’s taken time to trust that he’s going to be ok. Having just lost dad, the thought of losing yet another loved one was too much. I’ve needed some time to process what happened, support hubby and start to make changes to our lifestyle.
Goals for August
So for August, I’m keeping my goals simple.
- keep working on little ones reading
- attend adventure camp
- meet up with other homeschooling families
- clear dads room and get it ready so when funds become available, we can turn it into a study/office
Continue working with the nutritionist. Goals we have set include eating breakfast everyday, eating 3 meals and 2 snacks each day and going for a walk with hubby.
- Complete the Angel Practitioner course
- Attend a meditation teachers course
- order new business cards
- complete daily dose of positivity messages for 365 days
- clear dad’s garden room
- start photographing items for the shop
- write letter to money and check in with it
- get business accounts up to date
- set goals for selling clutter on eBay and Facebook
- go to the cinema with my son when hubby goes back to work
Normally, I would set goals at the beginning of the year, and I did. But my change in circumstances means I now have more time to work towards the goals that are important to me. So now I’m setting some new goals. I call it Project: Get a Life!
This month, the main goals is to change dads former bedroom into a place my son can work in peace.
To do this we want to:
- paint the room
- replace the carpet
- remove the wardrobe and dressing table
- add a wall of bookcases, a desk and reclining chair
- add pictures and posters
- my son has 2 adventure camp weeks booked
- he wants to learn how to knit and Japanese
- we will meet up with other home schooling families at least twice during the month
- make progress on my sons reading, working through the Toe by Toe book
- visit at least 1 heritage site
- complete at least 4 experiments
This month, my main goal is to increase my activity. I’ve been mainly housebound for the last year, so some fresh air and long walks would be good. I also want to increase my vegetable in take. One change at a time.
This month, I want to practice self-healing. I have completed numerous courses on Reiki, but with all the pollen around, my asthma has kept flaring up and I couldn’t practice as much as I wanted.
I also want to:
- develop my knowledge around crystal healing
- complete my angel practitioner course.
- attend a workshop on bio energy, with the intent of potentially doing a diploma in this area.
Whilst I’m taking time out to deal with my grief and my dad’s estate, this month I want to:
- get clear on what my business will involve, my core message and how I can help my clients
- create the business framework I want to make this work
- set up my healing room. This will largely involve packing up and removing dad’s things.
- start blogging again, writing one blog post a week
- develop one email opt in, publish it and start building a new email list
- re-publish my Facebook page
I have already signed up to attend a number of different networking events, allowing me to get out and meet people again. I have also signed up to a money mastermind business group on Facebook.
My main goal this month is to reduce my spending and develop a budget that I can work with, and stick to. This will clarify how much my business will need to bring in, in due course.
One of the fun goals I want to achieve this month is to ride a segway. There is a place not far from us that does this, but we’ve never had the opportunity. I also want to knit a scarf with my son and read a couple of books.
So these are my new goals for this month. The joy of being a life coach is that I know I can make them happen. Project: Get a Life begins!
If you’ve been following me or my blog, you’ll know that I took time out of my business, and life generally, to care for my dad. Sadly, he passed away last month.
The privilege of caring
As you can imagine, it’s been a difficult time, but I take solace in the fact that I did as much as I possibly could for him since my mum passed away. I organised her funeral in the UK, and brought her ashes home to Ireland so she could be buried in the family plot. I traveled back and forth to the UK, flying into Exeter and driving my dad (and his dogs) back to Ireland to stay with us. When he decided to move close by, I helped him find a new home, helped him pack, organised the movers and helped him set up his new home. When he was settled in, I’d drop my son off at school then pop in and make him breakfast. I’d pop back later and he’d stay with us for lunch and dinner, going home later. Initially, he was able to drive him self around, but as his health deteriorated, I became his chauffeur. When his health deteriorated even more, he came to live with us. Many’s a time he’d wake up in the middle of the night, not realising the time, wanting a cup of coffee. Caring for him in his last years has been a privilege, but not without it’s down side. Like when we had to change his bedding several times a day. Or when the only food he would eat came from the chip shop, because mum always made chips with dinner.
I won’t lie, there were days when it was hard, but I have no regrets. I did my best and in doing so, taught my son how I want to be treated. Dad never wanted to go into a nursing home, and the only times he set foot in one was for respite. For that I am infinitely grateful.
A new chapter
And so I’m embarking on a new chapter in my life. Life has been very strange since dad passed away. After all the arrangement were made, and dad was buried next to mum, I now have time on my hands. It took me a while to sleep through the night, not having to listen out for dad in case he needed anything. It’s also taken a while to relax without feeling guilty.
It’s weird, not having to plan things to ensure that if I went out, there was someone in the house in case he needed anything.
It’s weird being able to eat what I want, because I’m not juggling the needs of 2 fussy eaters.
It’s even weird being able to go out. After becoming a virtual hermit, its strange getting out and meeting people.
I also have my house back. We can go though things like family photographs and get rid of the hundreds of photos of the garden that my mum proudly took, decluttering them down to treasured memories. I’m even creating an album for my nephew showing his mum growing up and the photos of him as a baby and child, before his mum passed away so suddenly. We have bought a scanner to scan in all the negatives, so they aren’t lost, but many of the photos were of someone else’s memories, and they won’t be of interest to someone else.
Project “get a life”
I’ve called this new chapter Project: Get a Life.
Part one is getting my home back, making it a home, not a nursing home. I’m going to turn dad’s room into an office/study. A place where I can build a new business and my son can have his home school. The garden room we built for my dad and his model trains will become my healing room. A place where I can practice the skills I’ve learnt as a healer, and a mediation space where my spirit can heal. (Perhaps as a reflection of my circumstances, I took courses in Reiki, Crystal and Angelic healing in the last few months.)
I’ve bought different journals, one as my sons home school journal, one for ideas, one to focus on my business ideas. This has helped my clarify what I want and don’t want in this new chapter. The goals, the adventures, the fun. It’s where my life coaching skills are coming into their own. For example, we’ve been to the local tourist information office and got all the leaflets for the area, planning my son’s home school learning with loads of field trips. I’ve even updated my vision board, knowing that there are many less obstacles to implementing them now, and the possibilities are not quite infinite, but close.
So that’s where I am now.
Assessing where I am, where I want to be and creating a road map of how to get there.
Healer, heal thyself. Coach, coach thyself.
When was the last time you had fun?
This wasn’t something I thought much about, until last year. Then I started my life coaching course. One of the first exercises we did was around the Wheel of Life. As part of this, my coach asked me “on a scale of 1 to 10, where 1 was totally unsatisfied, and 10 was totally satisfied, how satisfied was I in each section of the wheel?”. I gave “fun” a 2.
Wheel of Life Coaching Tool
I then had to explain to my coach what a “2” in the fun section meant for me. The year before, my mum had passed away, suddenly and unexpectedly, triggering a series of changes that had left me reeling, still trying to catch up. I was now part of the sandwich generation, responsible not just for bringing up my son, but also caring for my increasingly frail father. Fun was not something I was thinking of.
And then suddenly, I had to.
When was the last time I had fun?
I couldn’t remember.
I couldn’t even think of what fun was for me.
Oh heck. What was fun anyway? I had to really think about that one.
What is fun?
When you look it up in the dictionary, you’ll find words like:
- light-hearted pleasure
If you want a truly balanced life, then it needs to include fun.
Now fun to me doesn’t involve alcohol or drugs. It doesn’t involve teasing, joking or making fun of someone else. (Don’t even get me started on pranking!)
Fun for me is about enjoying the moment and being able to laugh whole-heartedly. When I sat down and thought about it, I found that:
- I enjoy reading.
- I love going to the cinema.
- I love musicals and visits to the theatre.
- I enjoy going for a walk with my family and the dogs.
- I enjoy shopping.
- I love travelling and exploring.
- I love learning new things.
- I love watching The Big Bang Theory.
- I love hugs from my husband and my son.
- I laugh when my son mimics my husband in order to get me do something for him.
- I love going to a really good restaurant.
In the same way that when you start counting your blessing, you realise that you are truly blessed, I found that there were loads of opportunities for fun in my life. I just wasn’t taking them. So at the beginning of the year, when I set out my 100 goals for the year, many of them were fun.
Where am I now?
Well, for a start, I smile much more.
I’m more resilient.
In my life, I’m making time for my son, for my husband and for my father. I get out of the house much more. I have loads of tickets for shows, and voucher for a spa day and am looking forward to the summer holidays.
In my business, I have a new coach and she’s kicking my backside big time! I’m clearer on who I want to work with and how I can help them find the person they’ve forgotten they are, to unlock their potential and transform their life into something more fun.
How can I help you?
Life Coaching is all about change and moving forward. If like me, you’ve forgotten what fun is, and want to change this, then get in touch. I want to help.
Let’s get you smiling again. You deserve it.
Take care for now
I’m just about to publish my first decluttering book: Weekend Wardrobe Declutter and as I wrote it, I realised that when I decluttered any part of my house, I used the same process. It’s one that I learned as a nurse and was similar to the coaching process and a learning tool developed by MindMap expert Tony Buzan, called TEFCAS (Try, Event, Feedback, Check, Adjust, Success). My Clutter Coaching process is show below:
In the assessment phase, take a step back and think about the room that you want to declutter. What do you want it to look like when it’s finished. This is a really important step, because it clarifies your goal, what you are aiming to achieve when you’re done.
Take, for example, your bedroom. When you visualise your bedroom in your mind’s eye:
- What does it look like?
- What does it smell like?
- What colours can you see?
- What about light/lighting?
- How will it feel, being in that room?
- What styles/themes most appeal to you?
House Beautiful has over 100 design ideas that you can look at, and my Pinterest board includes links to lots of different sites with ideas.
You also need to analyse what you use your room for: sleep, reading, watching tv etc, and who you share your bedroom with, so you can work out what needs to be in your room.
Now, look at your room as it is. What needs to change?
- Room layout
Now you’re clear on where you are now, and where you want to be, let’s set some goals. These may be in terms of:
- decluttering your wardrobe
- decluttering your drawers
- decluttering under the bed
- re-organising your room
- re-decorating your room
A goal without a plan is just a wish – Antoine de Saint-Exupery
Now that we have a start point and an end point, what we need to do now is create a very clear roadmap of how we are going to get there. If you used SMART ARSE goals, you will have considered:
- your timeline
- the tools needed to get you there
- what obstacles you might encounter
- what help you’ll need to get the job done
- how you’ll break the job down into smaller manageable goals for example: declutter wardrobe, declutter room, clear room, paint/decorate room, add furniture, add furnishings, organise wardrobe, organise storage.
Also think about:
- what tasks you will have
- how much time each task will take
- how much money you’ll need to complete the project
- who you can rope in to help
Now that you have a goal and an action plan for your project, the next stage is Implementation.
This is where you get off your bum, and actually do stuff!
Note: You may want to do this at the end of the project or as each task is done.
Evaluation is a process of reflecting on where you are now compared to where you want to be. If your goal was to create a bedroom that was warm and cozy, is that what you achieved? Sometimes, when you’ve finished, you find that you’re where you expected to be, but it doesn’t quite feel right, in which case you need to analyse why that is. What needs to be tweaked or adjusted to get you to this new place? Now go back to the beginning and set new goals and action plans and see what effect that has. Repeat until you’re exactly where you want to be.
Once your room feels right, then you have successfully achieved what you set out to. So, then you can reflect on:
- What worked?
- What didn’t work?
- What did you learn?
- How can you use what you learned in the future?
The last stage in the clutter coaching process is maintenance.
You’ve decluttered and reorganised your room to get it exactly the way you want it to be, so now you need to consider what you’re prepared to commit to to maintain it.
For example, what 3 things can you commit to on a daily, weekly or monthly basis? You may want to consider:
- how often should you be tidying up i.e. returning things to their rightful place
- your cleaning schedule
- rules for bringing in new things to your room
- how often you’ll want to review your room as a whole. Things change, circumstances change. Has your room adapted to this change?
That’s my Clutter Coaching process. You can apply it to any room in the house, any space, or if you’re using the KonMarie technique, then any group of items.
Take care for now.
I’ve been gradually decluttering my home for a while now, and after spending time yesterday doing some more, it occurred to me this morning that I’ve come along way since I first read Marie Kondo’s book. (more…)