What are personal values?
Values are the things that you hold dearly and are a major influence on how you behave. When you live a life that is true to your values, then you start to live a more authentic life.
How to identify your own values?
There are four ways that you can do this:
- read a list of values and tick the ones that resonate with you. This webpage has over 400 values listed!
- ask yourself what is most important to you. For most people this will include family, integrity etc, however, when you start observing and reflecting on your own behaviour, they’ll start jumping out at you.
- think about what behaviours really annoy you. For example, I don’t like being lied to, and get annoyed when people do this both to me, and those I’m close to. I value integrity and honesty.
- asking your friends and family what they think your values are.
How I came to identify my own values.
As part of my coaching course, we had an assignment was around values. When I was on holiday in Italy, I made a conscious effort to become aware of my own values. Whenever I noticed a value, I would make a note of it on my phone. For example:
- the holiday included a number of tours in the package, however, I prefered to potter around, exploring the local area rather than spending hours on a coach traveling somewhere else completely. Value identified: independence.
- in the evening, each night I would ring home and check on everyone there. Value identified: family.
- in the bar when the discussions started around current affairs and the migration crisis, I got really annoyed by those saying that it was wrong of the migrant to leave a war-torn area and try to get to Europe. Value identified: compassion.
- when we went shopping, we came across a shop with the most amazing shoes and handbags. They were so different from the bags normally sold around the resort. Values identified: creativity and innovation.
- we came across an art exhibition, and I realised that we did exactly the same thing the previous year, and I had to go in. This time the pictures were surrealist art. Again, creativity and innovation came up as my core values.
When you start reflecting on your own behaviour, it’s amazing what values start popping up. Even this evening, as I was watching a quiz program, I noticed a value creep in. When the contestant chose the easier questions, limiting his ability to get the jackpot, and then gave up even trying for the jackpot when it was still possible to win, I got annoyed. Trying and failing is ok with me, but not trying, or giving up for no reason isn’t.
What happened when I asked others what my values were
Again, as part of my coaching course, we carried out a personal review, sending out a questionnaire with a number of questions on it to friends, family, colleagues and clients. When I asked everyone what they thought my values are, they came up with this list:
- Generosity
- Kindness
- Family
- Self improvement, progression
- Honesty
- Reliability
- Self discipline
- Trustworthy
- Respect for people
- Good listener
- Thinking the best of people
- Working hard
- Helping
- Giving
- Dedication
- Work ethic
- Integrity
- Honesty
- Empathy
- Love
- Loyalty
- Perfection
Honouring your values
Once you start noticing your values, the next step is to ask yourself, how will you honour them. For me:
- Family comes first when making decisions. I won’t arrange any coaching or training that involves travelling unless there is a family member to look after my child and my father.
- For this reason, I’m primarily home-based.
- On this site, I’ll be creating lots of content that will be available for free. If you want to work with me, then that’s ok, but being able to afford my services shouldn’t limit your options.
- When you work with me on a 1:1 basis, then you’ll find support but you will also be held to account. My job is to help you meet the goals you set yourself. Not let you hide when the going gets tough.
- As part of my business, I’ll be trying different methods to communicate my message.
Once you know what your values are, then you can honour them by prioritising them when making decisions.
Finally
Before I finish, I’d like you to take some time and ask yourself:
- what are my values?
- in what way’s do I honour them?
- what could I do in the future to honour them that I’m not doing now?
That’s it for today.
Remember, you ARE resourceful, creative and whole.
Take care.
Karen